My son is my joy. He is my world. His well being is my well being. His accomplishments are my recognition of greatness in the world. His challenges are my worst nightmares or on a good day, my lessons.
I was a young mom with my son. I like to say that he was born when I was twenty because that sounds more appropriate but actually he was born two weeks before my 20th birthday. He was born when I was still 19. A shocking number, I admit. I was a teen mom. I hate to admit that for some reason. I hate the stigma that comes along with being a "teen mom". But there you have it. I was a teen mom. and all through my youth - early twenties that is - I fought the internal battle against recognizing that I was in fact a "teen mom". I thought - oh but I'm so different from the common understanding of teen moms. I wanted my son. I married a great man. We cared about our baby. We love him. We are not those strange breed of humans you see now on TV who don't know how to change diapers or know that breast feeding is better than formula. We hung dry our laundry instead of using our dryer, we sterilized everything. I mean for Christ sake, we lived in Vermont. surely we are not typical teen parents. It has taken me a very long time to understand that all of the other young parents, all of the other people who come from families without a lot of money, every one in my demographic thought the same thing. We all think we are unique or different or at least, don't fit the stereotype.
But once again you learn, that we are more the same than we are different.
For better or for worse.
I truly have seen a chasm between me and other people that have the same numbers as I do - sure we have the same ingredients but what comes out of the mold is different. And, of course, what came out in me is better than the rest of my group, even if we could appear on paper as the same.
I AM BETTER THEN THEM. I"M MORE.
And then you live life for a while and you come to learn that "they" feel the same way.
They don't want to be part of your group either.
Everyone feels different. Everyone feels like some new product of their environment. Everyone grows up with that feeling that they are different and don't fit in entirely because of their special uniqueness. If you are poor, you are the first really smart, articulate poor person. If you are rich, you are the first rich person lacking a sense of entitlement. If you are in the middle, you are the first person in the middle to recognize your own privilege and decide to go into human services - most likely with an MSW. (Masters of Social Work)
We all need to think that there is something that sets us apart, makes us uniquely special, makes us not accounted for in the annual tabulations of societal norms.
And we are right. You are unique. I was unique. You are the first one to see things the way you see things. No one is just like you.
And we are wrong. We are not at all unique. Someone has thought it, someone has done it, someone is just like you.
As I age, I find myself more and more coming to the understanding, the belief, that I am so much more like my peers than I ever thought possible or ever wanted to believe. I see the younger generation asking the same questions I asked with the same arrogance, that they were the first ones to ask it. And now as I enter -what I've decided to call "the beginning of the end of my youth" - I find myself looking at things that I never thought about before unless it was a current topic in my social circle. I'm looking at our economy, I'm looking at our resources, I'm looking at our planet. And what I see feels as obvious to me now as teen moms seems to most everyone.
Something is amiss.
But does it seem in catastrophic proportion because I am only now looking at it and would have the same appearance twenty years ago? Or is it more like the intended weddings that come from all of the bachelor shows - It is actually not going to work _ in the foreseeable future.
I feel a bit scared about what I see for Americans in the not to distant future. And I feel sad that something in our present leads us to want to separate ourselves from a herd that we can plainly see has gone awry.
And I worry about my now 20 year old son. I fear that he does not have the good fortune to devote twenty years to recognizing his own vulnerabilities and humanity. I fear that he must work much harder and faster just to figure out how to survive.
As for me, I will continue to wallow away in fantasies of small goat pastures and the day that all my more more accomplished friends show up to say "I'm so Thirsty, may we drink of your goats milk?"
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Monday, February 18, 2013
I Made Mayo!
A big part of my homesteader fantasy involves making my own stuff. So I made some mayonnaise! By myself. I'm certain that most people have done this before, but not me. I'm very picky about mayonnaise, I only eat Hellman's (It's called best foods out here). I won't eat the generic stuff and I can barely look at miracle whip or Cains without thinking of cow udder mastitis - don't know why. But I love Hellman's, it makes everything better. So I had no idea if I would like my own mayo, but I do. It is simply delicious. I'm not kidding. It's got a very, very slightly more vinegar-y flavor then Hellman's but just barely and there is no difference once it's on the food. I made the best potato salad of my life with it. It's hard to make though. In another post I'll put recipes for all the stuff I make for those that are interested.
Once I got the make it yourself bug - I couldn't stop. I made homemade veggie burgers, my own granola, facial scrub, facial moisturizer, lip balm, eye cream!! I made my own household cleanser and bought what I need to make dishwasher detergent, laundry detergent, carpet freshener.
This house will have no poisons in it anymore!!
I do believe that when you start really looking at and thinking about the number of harmful chemicals that are in all the hundreds of products we use everyday, you'll start rethinking what you buy as well.
I just keep thinking - if I can't ingest it, why is it safe to use? Breathing in little bits of it, day in and day out, absorbing through your skin while cleaning with it or from residue on surfaces?
And all those little chemicals enter into your body and live there. Building up over time, causing damage, confusing your cells, turning into cancer.
We can not fully insulate ourselves from harmful things in an industrialized society, but we can sure try. I encourage all of you (my two readers) to simply take a peek at what you use to clean any one room in your house, count the number of chemicals, google one of the chemicals and see what the harmful effects could be to a human who accidentally came into contact with it.
You might find that you can imagine using less poison if you were offered an effective replacement. Well effective replacements exist.
I will post a series of recipes and how they are working out for me in an upcoming post! And good news, I have pictures of all the things I've made!
Once I got the make it yourself bug - I couldn't stop. I made homemade veggie burgers, my own granola, facial scrub, facial moisturizer, lip balm, eye cream!! I made my own household cleanser and bought what I need to make dishwasher detergent, laundry detergent, carpet freshener.
This house will have no poisons in it anymore!!
I do believe that when you start really looking at and thinking about the number of harmful chemicals that are in all the hundreds of products we use everyday, you'll start rethinking what you buy as well.
I just keep thinking - if I can't ingest it, why is it safe to use? Breathing in little bits of it, day in and day out, absorbing through your skin while cleaning with it or from residue on surfaces?
And all those little chemicals enter into your body and live there. Building up over time, causing damage, confusing your cells, turning into cancer.
We can not fully insulate ourselves from harmful things in an industrialized society, but we can sure try. I encourage all of you (my two readers) to simply take a peek at what you use to clean any one room in your house, count the number of chemicals, google one of the chemicals and see what the harmful effects could be to a human who accidentally came into contact with it.
You might find that you can imagine using less poison if you were offered an effective replacement. Well effective replacements exist.
I will post a series of recipes and how they are working out for me in an upcoming post! And good news, I have pictures of all the things I've made!
Popular mom
Snacks are rapidly changing in my house. And I was wondering what effect this would have on my "cool mom" status.
When I was a kid, snacks were very clearly, highly processed and wrapped in colorful packaging. I knew kids whose families did not buy snacks or candy but we (thank goodness) were not one of them. It's true enough that my mom did not stock the house with chips and cookies and the like, but she made no restrictions on whether we were allowed to eat that stuff. She would buy sugar cereals if we asked for it, though she didn't buy much as it only lasted about an hour in the house because we would gobble it down like true scavengers. But if we had any money we were allowed to go to the spa and buy whatever candy or chips we wanted. Occasionally you'd find yourself at someones house and head to the kitchen for snacks only to find things like roasted almonds, sheets of seaweed or matzo bread. Let's just say - you would not be heading to that house on a day you knew you wanted to eat. Even in my adulthood, when I want snacks, I'm usually after french fries or pizza or extra cheese on anything. If someone offers me say an apple, I feel slightly insulted and thoroughly outraged. I had a friend who thought of Sushi as comfort food - Sushi? Which part is comforting? The seaweed or the raw fish? I love sushi, it's delicious but comfort food? One day I was heading to a friends to make some food and watch movies on the couch - she excitedly offered to roast the organic carrots and purple potatoes she had. I wanted to slap her through the phone. Carrots are NOT good on the couch, movie food! It must be fried, stewed or slathered in gravy or cheese to be comfort food.
Lola is different. She has certainly had bags of Doritos and candy but really the only time she finds those in our house is when we have a party - and even then, not always. She could count the number of times she has had her own bag of chips, it would be double digits but not very high up there. She has never had, like, her own cup or bottle of coke - though she has had her own sprite or root beer (those wouldn't be double digits). When she thinks of snacks, she is likely to think of any kind of fruit, cheese, salami, crackers, peanut butter, etc. She has a reasonably healthy diet. But I've begun to see that we can do better - so much better.
So the other day she had friends over and I laid out snacks for them. I put out the normal fruits and carrots and cherry tomatoes, but replaced the cheese with pumpkin seeds and homemade granola, I replaced salami and crackers with whole wheat toast with peanut butter or garlic and oil. Instead of apple juice I made homemade ice tea and fruit smoothies with silken tofu instead of yogurt.
Had I been offered that as a kid, I would have refused to eat any of it and felt really sorry for the kid who lived there, maybe would even have regaled that kid with tales of how "Boo Berry" cereal turns your milk the prettiest shade of blue. But Lola and her friends - not only ate it all, they thanked me for it. They drank all the tea and all the smoothies, ate every bit of fruit, veggie and toast and most of the seeds and granola. No one even blinked, they didn't ask if we had soda or cookies. Snack Success!
It got me thinking that often times, when you offer kids that fun party food, or that yummy comfort food you are really passing on to them your ideas about what that is. If you make a big pot of homemade soup and crusty bread and curl up with that to watch a movie, that is what they will think of and crave when they are in the position of choosing what to eat on their own. Much like my friend who thought fish roe was comfort food.
As for myself, I loved the roasted carrots that my friend made and apologized for my shocking behavior. I've begun nibbling on the apple slices I make for the kids and I always drink the smoothies. I'm trying to change the way I eat - and perhaps for me most importantly - trying to find ways of feeling comforted that don't come from a box with a friendly elf.
When I was a kid, snacks were very clearly, highly processed and wrapped in colorful packaging. I knew kids whose families did not buy snacks or candy but we (thank goodness) were not one of them. It's true enough that my mom did not stock the house with chips and cookies and the like, but she made no restrictions on whether we were allowed to eat that stuff. She would buy sugar cereals if we asked for it, though she didn't buy much as it only lasted about an hour in the house because we would gobble it down like true scavengers. But if we had any money we were allowed to go to the spa and buy whatever candy or chips we wanted. Occasionally you'd find yourself at someones house and head to the kitchen for snacks only to find things like roasted almonds, sheets of seaweed or matzo bread. Let's just say - you would not be heading to that house on a day you knew you wanted to eat. Even in my adulthood, when I want snacks, I'm usually after french fries or pizza or extra cheese on anything. If someone offers me say an apple, I feel slightly insulted and thoroughly outraged. I had a friend who thought of Sushi as comfort food - Sushi? Which part is comforting? The seaweed or the raw fish? I love sushi, it's delicious but comfort food? One day I was heading to a friends to make some food and watch movies on the couch - she excitedly offered to roast the organic carrots and purple potatoes she had. I wanted to slap her through the phone. Carrots are NOT good on the couch, movie food! It must be fried, stewed or slathered in gravy or cheese to be comfort food.
Lola is different. She has certainly had bags of Doritos and candy but really the only time she finds those in our house is when we have a party - and even then, not always. She could count the number of times she has had her own bag of chips, it would be double digits but not very high up there. She has never had, like, her own cup or bottle of coke - though she has had her own sprite or root beer (those wouldn't be double digits). When she thinks of snacks, she is likely to think of any kind of fruit, cheese, salami, crackers, peanut butter, etc. She has a reasonably healthy diet. But I've begun to see that we can do better - so much better.
So the other day she had friends over and I laid out snacks for them. I put out the normal fruits and carrots and cherry tomatoes, but replaced the cheese with pumpkin seeds and homemade granola, I replaced salami and crackers with whole wheat toast with peanut butter or garlic and oil. Instead of apple juice I made homemade ice tea and fruit smoothies with silken tofu instead of yogurt.
Had I been offered that as a kid, I would have refused to eat any of it and felt really sorry for the kid who lived there, maybe would even have regaled that kid with tales of how "Boo Berry" cereal turns your milk the prettiest shade of blue. But Lola and her friends - not only ate it all, they thanked me for it. They drank all the tea and all the smoothies, ate every bit of fruit, veggie and toast and most of the seeds and granola. No one even blinked, they didn't ask if we had soda or cookies. Snack Success!
It got me thinking that often times, when you offer kids that fun party food, or that yummy comfort food you are really passing on to them your ideas about what that is. If you make a big pot of homemade soup and crusty bread and curl up with that to watch a movie, that is what they will think of and crave when they are in the position of choosing what to eat on their own. Much like my friend who thought fish roe was comfort food.
As for myself, I loved the roasted carrots that my friend made and apologized for my shocking behavior. I've begun nibbling on the apple slices I make for the kids and I always drink the smoothies. I'm trying to change the way I eat - and perhaps for me most importantly - trying to find ways of feeling comforted that don't come from a box with a friendly elf.
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