ET phone home

A major reason why I would like to homestead has to do with our culture. I feel very strongly that at some point in recent history, we have taken a turn for the social worse. I love all of the advances and gadgets that we as a culture have created, but somewhere along the way we forgot about the human aspect of our day to day lives. We forgot that humans are pack animals and as such, need love and community and connection all the time. We were not meant to sit inside climate controlled rooms by ourselves staring at computers all day long. Connecting with people in ways that advance our joint works but do very little to advance our spirits. Coming home at the end of the day, exhausted, confused, distracted and grumpy. We were not meant to see our children for a couple hours a day before their bedtime and in spurts on the weekends between carpools to soccer and dance class. We were not meant to suffer alone the financial burdens of raising a family. Or even worse the emotional strain of raising only yourself, coming home to an empty house every night.

I find people in general to be stressed out, lonely, bored and overwhelmed. No one can understand what they are doing wrong. Why they feel so bad all the time. They worry that they have depression and might need to be medicated. They worry that it's more than that and that they are bipolar. They worry that they are unlovable and will never find a partner in this world. They worry that they never should have had children because they feel so overwhelmed by the task of raising them.

They feel like every career choice they've made was wrong, or that it was right but they could be doing it better. They worry that they will never achieve a happiness level that makes life feel like the joy-filled gift that it is supposed to be.

And I see two roots to these issues. Money and power.
It's not a new concept: Money is the root of all evil - trumped only by the desire for power.

Everyone I know is obsessed with money in some way. Either you have none of it and spend your days fantasizing about how to get more of it or the different ways you'd live if you had it. Or you have tons of it and have to spend your time figuring out how to get those around you to stop asking for some of it, where to invest it to protect it and make it grow and how to not raise spoiled trust fund babies with it. Or you are in the middle, you have enough to live comfortably but you must always be on the look out for the day that something will come up to change that, like the flu or a financially irresponsible partner or work drying up.

We spend the vast majority of our energy and time devoted solely to getting, keeping, using money. There is no time to spend with your kids when you need to work enough to feed them and clothe them and pay for those super expensive piano lessons. And what kind of parent would you be if you denied your child these important things in the name of staying home with them.
There's no time to see your friends in the evenings because you're too tired from work and need to be there again tomorrow.

There is no time and no energy for creating the lifestyle that a pack animal should ideally be living. There is no incentive to try to do it because our culture tells you that if you are not working you are a lazy slob and a drag on our whole society.

Which brings us to power. Obviously people want big power - we want to be the strongest richest country, we want to have the biggest house and the best clothes and our kids to go to the best schools. We want jobs where we tell people what to do instead of getting bossed around.

We want our friends and romantic interests to think that we are the sexiest and in the best shape and the best dresser. We want to be funny and smart and good cooks. What I'm saying is, in ways large and small, all through the day many of the decisions we make in our lives are based entirely around whether what we are doing will lead us further into professional or social power. If you get fat, or are poor or are just not very accomplished, people will still like you, they just won't respect you that much.
And there is no value placed on so many important things. If you are a good and loyal friend - that's great but it won't make up for not working more. All over the country there are stay at home parents who devote their lives to raising their children in the healthiest ways they can manage, they volunteer around their communities, in schools, or for disaster relief. They are your children's little league coaches, and scout troop leaders, they make sure that there is someone directing traffic at your daughters school in the morning to ensure that she gets safely across the street. They are handing out bottled water after your pipes were taken out, they organize a schedule of meals to be delivered to your house when you are dealing with an illness. They invite your kids to do safe, supervised activities. They work every bit as much or even more than the most powerful business person you can think of. They are on 24 hours a day taking care of the needs of a community and raising the future of our country.

But most people say or think - oh, you just stay at home. Hmmm. That must be nice. Me, I have to work for a living.

Or how about the lowly manual labor workers. Admit it, your mind flashed to immigrants and black people.
We have NO respect for people who do certain jobs. Take for instance a custodian at a school. They get no respect whatsoever and yet, they are an integral part of the team that nurtures your child everyday. They ensure the safety and well being of your child, they are the ones who will remove the poisonous spider or snake that roamed onto campus, they will get rid of the potentially fire causing material that falls off the trees, they will be the first to notice the creepy guy lurking near the bushes. And every fundraiser or event that happens at your school is facilitated by the custodian.

How about the dishwashers or construction workers or sanitation workers. They have no social or economic power in this country despite the fact that they perform services every single day that we would all be lost without.

I'm tired of this way of life, where the focus is on getting more and more and more and off of enjoying what we have and each other. It's not working anymore. How many people do you know that are not depressed or on some stress related medication like blood pressure medicine? How many people do you know don't cry or vent regularly about how hard everything is? I don't know many and I'm guessing neither do you.

There are many things that need to change. When I imagine a homesteading life, I see the focus shifting off of consumerism, off of fast paced power seeking, and onto our selves and our communities. I see long days in the sun teaching your children or friends to garden. I see big home cooked meals with lots of people around a table. I see teaching your kids to hang laundry instead of using a dryer and having the time to stand there and do it with them. I see a way of life that won't garner you much American respect, but will gift you a connected life. Connected to yourself, connected to your family and friends and connected to the earth.